What is going on here... and what do I do?

[LIO]

Kat, He didn't get diagnosed as far as I know. I haven't asked if he even saw the therapist. I'm trying to stay out of his business at this point. He's on an upswing atm, so he wouldn't be as likely to see a therapist.

Yep - H had no idea about money. His greatest idea yet is to take a class and get financial aid money (where's my roll eyes icon? because being in more debt is exactly what he needs.)

Journal for today:
H came over this morning to pick up more stuff. We were both in a good mood until 'money' came up where he got heated, of which he mentioned me signing the D paperwork and if we decide to marry again in 2 years (?) then we will just do that. He also asked me why I was fighting him. I tried to use reflective listening, and also mentioned out that h moved out, and has all his money and I didn't fight him about either of those (he agreed).

He continued on about money that his 90 day deadline from the court was in July that if I don't sign, then he wasted the filing money. I said "It's just money, it's on the credit card we both have to pay anyway." I also mentioned the shift in mood due to the money topic. He said that he noticed that. I didn't want to have our conversations always about money because of that, and now that he knows how much it is, I would like to not discuss it further.

Money is a very sore subject for him. I make more than he does and he is resentful of the fact that I can actually double my salary right now if I wanted to (He brought that up today and said: "it's nice YOU get a choice and an option to NOT do it" H said). Money isn't a big deal to me, and it is to him. I try to downplay it, I haven't moved forward in my career as I could, and I never mention the income difference to him. I did say that I'd rather be more creative like he is, and that he is in a better position than I am because of that.

H was very adamant I take his office for my work and start my business. He said that if he decides to move back in again, then he will just kick me out of there.

I joked with him about not stealing the tp and soap from the house before i rushed him out of the house.

While I want to be the fun, not serious girl that I used to be. I was trying to keep it light until he got pissy about money, then i tried to lighten it up. I can see how quickly i get a little positive signs or comments and i'm all ready for him to move home.... retreat. retreat!


I failed at not calling/texting/emailing. No serious stuff or flame mails or anything. I did mention how i see how he feels stuck in work, marriage, life, home and how sometimes distractions can seem good, but then get in the way. I said that I want him to be happy.

And Kat - yep, you are right, he does need to have to answer for a lot of this stuff. Otherwise we are right still in the same pattern. Me pursuing, him retreating, me giving up, him sneaking back in without a word. I stupidly texted/called/emailed today. Pursing habits. Need to be more aloof. I know this. I need to remember it in the moment. I will put a cat picture on my phone and computer background. Ok starting now... no calls, no emails. no texts. Deleting his contact info Again so I have to purposefully type it in the long way and knowingly know i'm breaking a rule. back on the horse. I guess of anything at least I'm recognizing it quicker.