"One thing on my mind. She has not had her ring on for about 5 to 6 months. Should I still keep mine on or take it off. How might this affect her?"
Don't worry about the ring thing, she's playing being single. You have much bigger problems that worry over wearing your rings or how that might affect her.
"In Jan 11, get back from cruise, she wants to tell me how much of a jerk and a## I have been and if no change, she wants out. But, doesn't tell me because she don't want to hurt my feelings. In July 11, wants to have another baby,"
She was totally contradicting in her desires in a short period of time without cause. So either she was having a PA and thought she could be pregnant, or she's very screwed up thinking a baby could help the M. Which, btw, couldn't be further from the truth! Never have a baby thinking it will draw the two of you closer.
This OM that your W has as a "friend" is probably who she is having an EA with, if not a PA. Don't buy into that cr@p that she has him over just to talk. Don't let that man come into your home b/c he's no friend, trust me.
Your M can be saved, but you've got to do what people tell you works...and not what you feel you want to do.
Start with no sharing a cabin during the holidays. Do not contact her unless extremely important about kids. Leave her alone and pull as far back as you can. Don't act like a total jerk but show no interest in her at all. Fill your life with other people and good friends (not her shared friends or family) but just your friends. Be around people who have a positive affect on you. Don't talk to family about her or the MR b/c you will not get unbiased advice.
Can you do it?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
