i am not trying to gang up on you. the stuff you have said about your drinking, you might want to explore. drinking is an escape mechanism. some people can do it, and benefit. others can not. when you drank to ecape your stress, it came out negatively. no benefit. i understand how you feel. because it didnt happen al the time, it shouldnt be such a big deal. because it did happen that way, it is a big deal. to your W, SC maybe. it should be to you, if you really think you are an alcoholic.
not going to meetings because you have better stuff to do is a warning flag. maybe you dont think you have a problem. that is fine. i am not saying you do. missing meetings is the way to surely end up back where you were. generally in a worse sitch. when you dont go, it is not recovery. it is avoiding problems. alot like drinking is avoiding problems. in order to put stuff in perspective for myself, i look at it like this.. working my program is like setting up dominoes. one little slip and they all come crashing down. the dominoes are things in my life i want. the slips are things i am doing to hurt my recovery.
i do not know anything about saving a marriage. i do know about being a drunk/ drug addict. now i am really learning about being a person who is truly in recovery. nobody trusts a drunk. no matter what you say, buy or ty to show them. they only trust if they see you actually recovering. sometimes they will never trust again.
i really am in your corner broken. i only say these things because that has been me for a long time.
