Starsky, I know the sort of posts you're talking about, but in my opinion they're NOT made by people who have dropped the rope. Doing 180s or equating dropping the rope with dropping all boundaries with regards to their spouse, only shows how tight they're holding on to the idea that if they do a, they'll get b (a restored M). Obviously, they have more learning to do....
I'm sure you're right that people with few boundaries lean towards passive approaches, and vice versa. But we all make mistakes when we're learning a new way of thinking, and I also see numerous people who (eventually) learn how to enforce boundaries and detach, as 2 complementary parts of one lesson.
