Trying to hold onto the strings that bind you prevents progress. H needs to feel free to see what he wants. You need to let go to see what you want.
Putting in place financial protections makes sense. Settling on visitation makes sense. You need to protect yourself and you need these things settled to get rid of the emotional overhead. You both need space to breathe.
That being said, I think delaying the mediator by a week or two wouldn't be a bad idea. You need to see a L yourself (without sharing the visit with H) to know what you should seek. This stuff is a practical matter. It is business. You aren't going to save your M by being nice. Just take care of yourself in a reasonable manner.
It doesn't really matter what may or may not happen in 6 months. Right now you both need more financial and emotional independence. Get it in a way that doesn't put you at a long term disadvantage.
The goal is space and security -- both are needed now. Avoiding them won't help. Getting them may.
