You are welcome, of course. I hope this is making sense for people wondering what work they (the LBS) needs to do.
Originally Posted By: RoRoinMD
I need to read through this. Seems like some vital information I needed. Thanks KD!
You are welcome, of course! Just trying to help people.
I really believe in the benefits of empathising with people (the WAS/MLCer) as well as forgiving, letting go anger, and conducting oneself with unconditional love.
I know that my viewpoint on "what" love is differs from others here, but I do believe that love comes from within as a feeling we create in ourselves, before we can present it to others in actions.
In THAT way, love is a choice. But I believe it MUST begin IN US as a spark of feeling we nurture. And if we have baggage in the way, then we may never allow it to shine and BE in a way that is altruistically beneficial to others.
Originally Posted By: needgrace
Is there a link to more info on the types of MLC?
It can often be said that the spouse of a MLCer is a hero... you know... like a "hero spouse"... which is a phrase you could always search your favourite search engine for... which might provide you with some further info regarding MLC stages...
Of course, Cadet (who's W was low energy, I believe) mentioned the Heart's Blessing post of MLC stages, above your post, NG.
Originally Posted By: Cadet
Here is HB's six stages of a MLC as originally written by Jim Conway in the book Men In MLC.
HB's husband was a clinging boomerang and the stages fit that type of crisis very well.
Please note that stages do not always go in order.
Time frames of the above WAS types would be as follows:
WAS - a while, but not so long. Most of the work they have done is prior to bomb drop so it's more like a "get'r'dun" time frame
WAS with transition - longer... they need to process and figure their life out... grab a magazine and GAL and give it a good amount of time to "bake"...
MLC - much longer... don't panic, though... yes, there are suggestions that some people never get out of MLC. Maybe that's true, but I am starting to believe that they DO... it's just that the change in them is so drastic and different than the LBS is willing to accept or believe, that it appears the WAS is in perpetual MLC... when they have simply settled into their new life and things are once again consistent and emotionally stable with them...
There are also similarities between all of these "types" that I think can cause a LBS to question what type of behaviour to anticipate from their WAS. But that's another story... lol...
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I also think that an LBS needs to be wary that they could be at risk of having their own MLC during this time. It certainly appears this can happen, from some of the stuff I've read and feelings I've had, personally...
I would recommend that IF you feel yourself slipping into chaos and wondering what life really is all about... DON'T PANIC! And... prevent the chaos of crises...! take the time you might need to have your own, controlled and conscious (mini)transition if you would like...
