Didn't think I'd have to come back...

[FreeBird0120]

Thank you all for your advice. I know I have to demand these things in order to be sure H is 100% committed to working on us...however I'm so afraid of demanding these things to push him away.

The EA ended in November when H asked D12 and I to return home. He and OW had gotten into an argument because H wasn't contacting or responding to OW's calls or texts. He claims to have not contacted her or she him since other than a couple of phone calls regarding work only.

He says that he was so down, that she was the only one he was comfortable talking to, but that he realizes what he's done to me and the kids in doing so. He claims to be very sorry about this. The day I found out he'd been contacting her again was the day he went back on his depression meds. He's hoping this helps with his mood swings.

He says that she hasn't tried calling him and he hasn't called her, but that if she does call he's going to try ignoring her first, and if that doesn't work, he will answer and tell her he made a mistake and to please not call him and he won't call her. He's in such a fragile mental and emotional state right now that I fear if I insist on being part of that he will recoil.

I noticed that he left his work phone (which he'd been calling her on as it's the only thing I really can't track as long as he deletes the calls to and from eachother)in his truck last night. Whether that was so he didn't have to answer her call or he was afraid that I'd find out something is unknown...

He did tell me that this is the last time we will try working on things...that if it doesn't work out this time we both need to go our separate ways. He says I don't deserve what he's done to me...I just don't know what to believe anymore...

It's like I'm living with someone I thought I knew, but he's a stranger to me anymore...