"We can only control what we will allow them to do to us when we're in ours"
I don't think you know the meaning of "let go". Letting go, dropping the rope, detaching - means that whatever they do will no longer affect you.
Let me throw another hypothetical at you, and ask:
What if you had sufficiently "detached" adn "let go" and "dropped the rope" enough so that, say, it no longer affected you that your MLC or otherwise wayward spouse was SCREAMING PROFANITY AND OBSCENITY at you often when you disagreed with them, or even for no reason whatsoever. You'd learned to master a "Oh well, that's your problem, not mine" attitude about it.
Would that make it acceptable? Would it be a good role model for your daughter? Or do you try to teach them, like people telling racist "jokes" in your presence, that this is a Boundary of Personal Integrity with you, and you don't allow others to treat you that way?
Is it "controlling" to tell my spouse not to scream obscenities at me, or my friends not to tell racist jokes in my presence? Or is it simply a boundary?
