Not sure where to start, Part 3

[wishing, hoping]

Been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching and since the shock of D has started to wear off reality has been starting to set in. I remember that before the bomb drop that I wasn't really happy with things either. For 3 months before bomb drop H had been acting strangely and my sixth sense was ringing loudly. Unfortunately at that point there was nothing I could have said or done to alter the course of events.

H is no longer the man I married. I need to accept that and let him take his journey. I still have moments when I wonder "what if" but those moments are fewer and farther between. It saddens me deeply when I remember what we used to have. It makes me wonder if that was all fake and if I was in love with a persona, not a person?

So onward and upward with my journey to find myself and become a better person. I really feel myself spiraling upward and becoming stronger every day. I still pray every day for strength and guidance and I feel God telling me to "be still" and "everything in time".