2thapoint, barelyfloating and scaredsilly, Thank you very much for your posts.
2thapoint, you're right. I didn't intend to get involved with another woman. After my wife fired me and still put in my face she was engaging with her affair partner I was vulnerable. I am ending things with the woman I have been seeing.
Barely, I appreciate your input. I don't think you're bitter in any way your insight is always helpful. I was a verbal abuser because I was an angry drunk. I am sober now. I have said some not nice things to my wife since I stopped drinking, but I haven't been verbally abusive since the "straw that broke the camel's back" episode. The only thing that I feel I deserve is another chance. If my actions as of late in terms of being there for my W don't prove that, then so be it. I don't see how my dealings with another woman play a role in that up to now, my W if still on her affair partners friends list at a minimum, and despite that I am there for her in any way at the drop of a hat.
scaredsilly, one of my problems is sometimes my tone and the way I write and say things come out wrong. I don't mean to imply that I'm wasting my time here because that would be disrespectful to everyone who has graciously taken their time to read and post to my threads. I am saying the only reason that I am here is to try figure out how to fix things in my marriage. I know I made a mistake in starting to see this other woman and am correcting course now. And I am working on me, most important change being my sobriety. I am 100% confident that if I had not been drinking during my marriage I would have never have found this site.
IN BREAKING NEWS, I dug out our marriage certificate. Turns out that my W is the one who had our anniversary wrong... It is as I was planning on this Monday the 21'st. This is going to leave me some thinking to do now that she got all spun up thinking I forgot our anniversary. I got two very nice pictures framed that are very meaningful that I will need to decide if I am going to give to her or not. And also my stepson does want to play tennis with me next week which is a plus!
So I am thinking this... She is HIGHLY CONFIDENT that I missed our anniversary, so much so THAT I ACTUALLY THOUGHT THAT I HAD GOT CONFUSED AND MISSED IT... lol On Monday I'm thinking of doing the following. "Good Morning, hope you had a good weekend. I still can't believe you thought I missed our anniversary... Exactly how confident are you in that allegation?" If she still swears I missed it I'll ask, how about a little wager. If I can prove you wrong you let me take you out on a date... Reeks of pursuit and bad idea right?
The saga continues... Thanks again for your guys input and good luck to all in your respective sitch's!
me 38 W 30 T 3 M in 05/2010 Separated 08/2011 Stephchildren (all hers) SS17, SS12, SD8 I filed 8/27, she countered I filed response 9/5 Anxiously waiting on the judge!
