I didn't see it coming part 2

[breakdownbill]

Hey thanks Adinva

Yeah I know it's pointless trying to mind read, although it did make me curious, seeing her upset as to what brought her to tears. Although I'm ready for these difficult conversations and just want to know what my next steps in life are, I'm going to give my W more time for her to think things over & when she's ready to bring up the R talk, it'll be the best time. I don't like being in limbo, but the positive way I've been looking at limbo for me is that every day in limbo is another day we are together as a family, without the kids getting hurt.

I had a great weekend away with some of my friends who I've known since school, went to stay with them. Visited a few nice pubs & we had a whiskey session, we each had to throw in some money, ended up drinking this japanese bottle which was very expensive, but so worth it & the hangover the next day

One of my friends on the train down there asked me how my W was & how come she never comes out with me & if everything was OK between us. I just brushed it off & said that she was fine & that she was spending lots of time with her dancing friends. I'm not ready to let my friends know what is going on, I don't need their advice, just their friendship at the moment. If we do separate, then I will tell them of course, but right now I'm protecting our relationship, friendship and my family & ultimately me I suppose.

My individual counselling has been going really well, had a couple of sessions not so long ago that really took it out of me, made me think really deep about myself & what's important in my life. I really think I'm coming out of the other side of this now. I know I've got a lot of work still to do on mysself, but I think I'm getting there.

I know that if I work hard at UNI and get a teaching job, I'll be satisfied professionally - my control

I know that if I continue to be a great dad & spend as much time with my kids as possible - they'll love me as much as I love them - my control

I know that if I truly love my wife - I'll be there for her whether it's as a friend, lover or life partner - my control

staying Married or together in a relationship with my W - that's a 50/50 or an out of control situation, that i am just going to roll with & make the most of either outcome.

Bill