It sounds like this is working itself out. Your H doesn't want to go back to the M you used to have. He's as fearful as you, but not expressing things the same way you do.
Damn, you have a gem of a guy there, Pamela! Your R talk went fine and you were able to address what has still got your panties in a tangle... he did nicely from what you posted.
Pamela, it's getting harder because you have so much at stake. And you're moving in that direction. I think it's harder to work at something the closer you get to it. After all, look at the Olympics and the national championships that precede them...
You see a skater who hold real promise and then chokes. I believe that the fear of failure exceeds the desire to succeed and then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy (look at Debi Thomas).
But the real talent lies in those who work hard, come in 2nd or 3rd, qualify for the next round and keep beating out other skaters. They put blinders on themselves to keep the distractions from interfering with their goal to win and they never look back.
You're getting closer to winning nationals, Pamela. Your H is even skating in the same rink. You 2 are circling around each other like sharks... only you don't realize that you're not competing against each other... you're skating WITH each other. That means you both want to come in 1st... because didn't we tell you?
This isn't individual skate... you're skating pairs!
Oh, you just noticed? Put your glasses on, girl, because you've been sharing the ice all the time... you just thought he had left the arena!
And don't you dare apologize to me... I'm learning from you guys too. Because one day my little guppy is going to tell me he's walking back on the ice to finish skating with me too. And I'm going to need someone to help me through it when that becomes reality (do fish skate?).
Relax, have fun. Remember why you started skating with him to begin with? You love him and you enjoy being with him.
So just keep skating, just keep skating...
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
