I’ll tell you what, I will accept your road trip offer if we are NOT heading in your H’s direction! Too much stalking going on around these boards as it is…and you need a fun trip of your own, quite possibly so does your H.
Now, this is something in which I am all too familiar with. I posted somewhere or another that my H is often disappearing to do ‘projects’ on the cottage up north. These projects include all his boys (they are not men, they are BOYS) and too much beer and they go up there and fish and shoot fireworks and do whatever else it is that they do. And it infuriated me to no end. Here we are, haven’t had a weekend away in well over a year and our marriage is a mess. This jackass decides to go away with his boys?!?! WTF?????
So I’d be mad as hell and resent the crap out of him and when I saw him next he’d be in this happy cheery had-a-great-weekend mood. I was ready to kick him back to the cottage in a literal fashion. I must say, it got neither of us anywhere.
But, what if these guys NEED this trip away from us? What if all of these emotions are just as exhausting for them as they are for us? We can come here to the BB, sob to our girlfriends and even vent to the cat about the problems we have with our men. But the men can’t call up another guy and do the same thing, at least my man can’t. So they do guy things. They hang out together and watch sports and play football and drink beer.
Let’s do this. Let’s look at your H going away as a positive. Can you fake it? Be the happiest woman on the planet that your H is leaving. Thrilled would be an understatement…because you love him and want him to have a relaxed weekend. Crap, now I sound like the host on While You Were Out. But, let’s continue on this path for a minute. You’re thrilled he’s going…so now H is confused. The old Pamela wouldn’t be this giddy. Now he’s leaving with curiosity on his mind AND he was sent off positively without being bogged down by guilt for going. Personally, I think bogging someone down with guilt is almost as fun as a day at the spa…but strangely, H doesn’t agree!
Ok, he’s gone…now the weekend belongs to Pamela. What will you do? Change a room in the house? Go shopping? Take a day out at the spa? Go on a road trip with your DB buddies? The possibilities are endless. One thing you will NOT be doing is stewing over H leaving with those damn BOYS rather than working on his marriage.
All right, that was fun. Now the weekend is over, Pam is relaxed from her girly weekend and H is all nice and tired of his friends. Both parties actually MISSED one another since they didn’t have any anger toward the other during the separation. At this time, Pam may say something like “I’m glad you had such a good time (can be replaced with I’m sorry you had a horrible time…no hoping here Pam), I did too. Maybe we can take a weekend trip ourselves soon”. Remember your man is a words man, and while it didn’t say so in the book…I think that negative words really hit home with Words of Affirmation people.
What do you say? Do you accept the challenge? Or are you ready to smack me?
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier, writer and historian
