Thanks for checking in, Betsey. I've been in a pissy mood, so I was laying low!

I need to vent for a sec!
Last night, once again, H came home quite late from work and didn't call. Well, I take that back, he called on the way home, a good hour after he should have been home. I didn't talk to him, just told my son to tell him that I was eating and would talk to him when he got in.

I wasn't mean when he got here; in fact, I didn't say a word about it. I was pleasant, but went to find things to keep me busy while he ate his warmed dinner. (Spaghetti too here, Meredith!)
Anyway, he came to find me after he ate to tell me how good the dinner was and to see if I was o.k. I assured him that I was fine, yet turned into a sobbing mess for no reason apparent to even me! (hormones?)
Anyway, he lavished attention on me all night. It was a nice night.

Problem? I don't know what to do with this!!! He still wears no ring, still doesn't say he loves me. I have to assume this means
a. He doesn't love me
and
b. He doesn't want to be married

I know I shouldn't assume, but....

The venting part?
He is going away this weekend to participate in a sports tournament. He is taking 3 days off work to do this. He is flying clear across the country too!
This is the same man who has to be at work whenever possible. The man who will not take a day off, even as his marriage crumbles around him.
I'm hurt by this, but I know I can't say a thing, as he has made me no guarantees. It is just so painful to see things getting better, but to still have no security. I guess I should have realized that there really is no such thing as security in marriage anyway. I know that I felt way too secure; this is part of my problem!
I just wonder when I get to speak up and say what I think! In better circumstances I would not mind him going at all. It's just that he is burning money and vacation days, with no regard to fixing what ails us.
My son asked if he was taking me. He said, "I doubt that mom wants to go stay with 15 other guys for a long weekend."
Maybe someone shoulda asked mom!
Betsey, Pattie, Meredith--- up for a road trip? That's 4 guys for each of us!!! Wooh Weeeeeeeee.

ANyway, see? I don't know why I am pissy. I just want him to say something regarding the future. This limbo stuff sucks!!!