Not well. It was painful for both of us and I think she was not happy with all of the outcome. I don't know what she was expecting. Hell, I wasn't happy with it either. That typically means the mediator did a good job.
She is angry. She is angry about the settlement and she is angry that I am not willing to let her have S for 19 days to take out of town to see her friends and family in IA. If she is not willing to work on R or at least tell me what "being open" to working on R is for her - then I suggested we stick with the time that was set forth by the court. It sets boundaries. She immediately said that she always suspected that my flexibility had conditions - rather angrily. She unloaded on me in e-mail. Saying that she questions my motives, and that that hearing made that even worse (based off of some of the back and forth and bargaining between lawyers - it's an ugly process....I don't know what she expected). Quote from her e-mail:
"The judge (she meant mediator) basically told me I was wasting my time and just wracking up attorney fees to even try to negotiate with you because she felt you were not reasonable at all. This is the man that loves his wife and son….."
That's how she ended it. I didn't reply. The e-mail was mean, accusatory and uncalled for. I did not deserve that.
I have grown leaps and bounds trying to be a better man, husband, and father. And if she STILL thinks that everything I do is a tactic or ploy - that's on her. It's her loss. It's as if she loses it every time she doesn't get 100% her way in this (settlement, trip to IA). Again, I don't kow what she expected from this process. I told her from day one that EVERYONE loses in this....me, her AND our son. I have been trying to protect her from feeling the pain of her decision to the extent that I can. Bought her things for house, give her time with S that's mine, always available...and so on. And still she thinks so poorly of me. I'm done for awhile, if not forever. She can live with the decision(s) she made and all of the negative consequences that come with it. I am done being the shield.
I know I am just a little angry right now and venting, so I will probably feel different/better tomorrow - but it just feels like she is lost, confused, wanting everything and giving nothing, and taking her anger out on me while owning no responsibility for her actions. Divorce was her idea and her wish - not mine.
