Wife wants out

[totallydevoted]

Thanks broken...I appreciate the support. I have swung the emotional pendulum to both extents. I know my W will at least have a rude awakening...I've been telling her for the last couple of years that we really needed to buckle down to get out of our debt woes...the house has really put a strain on us, bought at the height of the bubble (shocker!). That...and when we separated the first time is when our debt woes began. The cost of it plus us trying to woo each other again and do fun things as a family.

She told my mother that things were wonderful then, but she cannot see the reality of our actions...and hated it when I tried to bring it up to have her help me put us on a good path, which we were on and things were beginning to ease up a bit...but that's over! it wasn't soon enough for her even though I told her 1 1/2 years ago that the next 2 would be a bit painful but we'll get through it together. and i was almost dead on with that timeline. She feels, I guess, that money grows on trees...and I also believe she thinks I've been holding out on her and the kids. As I said, this mediation will be quite the eye opener for her.

I'm prepared for the worst...this will keep me calm and polite...because I have proof that what I've been trying to explain to her this last year and a half has been the truth all along...and it was her who refused to see the reality of it all. she would refuse to even look at my budget spreadsheets...it's an issue with her...she doesn't understand money and finances and it would make feel inferior so whe would withdrawal which would just frustrate me.

Whether or not this will change her attitude about all this, not sure...probably not. I have to be prepared for that...plus it doesn't really matter because I have been doing all this for me. I have been doing all the right things lately with her and my kids. Upbeat, supportive, friendly, sincere, mentally tough...in her presence anyway. I know it's been confusing her and she has appreciated it but she's just not there mentally yet to open up and let her guard down. And I totally understand...she's going to need some serious time. I just hope she uses it wisely and focuses on herself. i think she's afraid to do so because she'll then realize that I wasn't the sole reason for her unhappiness...and that scares her...easier to blame me. she has a rough road ahead of her and I just need to make sure my kids are stable while she goes through it.

This is going to be a positive for us...she won't see that right away but she is a good person and eventually she will realize that what we have is worth saving...even if we have to D for her to come to that realization.

Thanks again my friend...I'll post the outcome tomorrow...keep an eye out, could be some good reading.