OMFG. I just looked at your first post. Some quotes:
"I never got the details of the entire story but she said she was raped but decided to keep the first child. "
"Some being my selfishness and infidelity in my first marriage, my cheating on my second wife while we were dating"
"She had self esteem issues with her body based on my prior actions and some things I had said, so I went to bat with 22k of plastic surgery for her"
" I was always nice to the kids and gave them plenty of things, but I was not as generous with my time and attention"
And, a whole lot more about expensive gifts, and repeating the abuse stories while denying them at the same time.
So, not much at all has changed in your narrative: infidelity, dishonesty, disowning responsibility for abuse, money=love in your first post and today and yesterday. What have you done between your first post and now to change these things?
BTW, having gifts as a love language has NOTHING to do with being materialistic and NOTHING to do with being financially rescued, physically augmented, or receiving big expensive gifts.
So, you might want to read 5LL to get a grip on what it means to have gifts as a LL.
Also, you might want to look at yourself to see why you feel that status displays and money are so important in personal relationships. They aren't for the other person. You mentioned your self-esteem problems. Maybe start there.
I wish you the best and you have a fair chance with W if you get real with yourself, get honest with everyone in your life, and work on your own personal issues.
But, I think it is probably not a good idea for me to continue to post to you. (1) I'm in general too direct for someone so early in the process, (2) in your case, your behavior really gets my dander up because of my own history, it is probably more helpful for you to engage with others (though unless you stop with the spin factor on your own story, a lot of posting will be wheel spinning.)
OT, I mentioned a few of these things to Broken in a previous post but you picked up and got to the root of a lot of more. I'd love it if you had a look at my thread and offered any advice/guidance. I think we often don't see where we go wrong.
OT, I mentioned a few of these things to Broken in a previous post but you picked up and got to the root of a lot of more. I'd love it if you had a look at my thread and offered any advice/guidance. I think we often don't see where we go wrong.
i totally agree with this last sentence. it is very nice to have an outside opinion.
Thank you oldtimer and Brit, I appreciate it I am certainly still a work in progress.
Oldtimer, I can handle it my friend, calling a spade a spade is the most effective way to communicate in my book. You have provided some of the most home-hitting and effective advice I have got on the board, I sincerely thank you for that and if it doesn't get you too spun up welcome your continued feedback.
I especially appreciate your statement given the train wreck that I know I am that I have fair chance with my W. I feel the same way, and am making the most significant move I can in giving up us the best chance by severing ties with my lady friend this weekend. That is going to be hard but it's the right thing to do.
me 38 W 30 T 3 M in 05/2010 Separated 08/2011 Stephchildren (all hers) SS17, SS12, SD8 I filed 8/27, she countered I filed response 9/5 Anxiously waiting on the judge!
me 38 W 30 T 3 M in 05/2010 Separated 08/2011 Stephchildren (all hers) SS17, SS12, SD8 I filed 8/27, she countered I filed response 9/5 Anxiously waiting on the judge!
