How do you know it's not the best choice?

How is it affecting your son negatively? Having 2 warring parents is probably the worst situation in which to raise a child.

Your whole last paragraph is about control.

You can't control anyone but yourself.

Drop the rope, lose your anger.

Let her go and continue to work on you.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss