Angel, I'm sorry if I upset you. Most people come here looking to be challenged, since if what they were doing was working, they wouldn't be here. I'm not big on the ol' ((((((angel!))))) hugs thing, and I call things as I see them. I post to a lot of different people, on this and another forum, and so sometimes my posts are more blunt than I would say them if I were speaking to you in person.
Yes, you can of course vent here, but you also have to expect that people are going to respond to you, based on what you post. I could go back and show you the pattern . . . the "cycle," as it were, to your swings . . . but I don't want to upset you further.
But for the record, YES, I do believe that the "recommitment" part comes FIRST, yes I do. I'm a big believer in the "Love is a Decision" thing that they teach at Retrouvaille, and I do think that two people can -- AND SHOULD -- expect that from each other, even as they then should expect that the PROCESS, and their feelings for each other, may take months or even several YEARS to improve. I don't see your husband making that commitment, nor do I see you insisting upon it, and I think as long as you are happy when "things seem to be going okay," I think your husband will continue to be very skilled at learning how to push just enough of those buttons to keep you where he wants you.
Just my opinion (although Walking and some others have posted similar things to you as well).
