Hoping my marriage can be saved :(

[Maggie3]

I did make my list of 180s but they are difficult to put into action since I have no communication with my husband other than occasional email which ONLY deal with home maintenance issues. Still, when I do email him I will try to give a compliment and be positive, ie "The grass looks really good, thanks for cutting it. Hope you are doing well" . Since that is about it in terms of our communication there isn't much more for me to show him I'm doing 180's. His complaints about me during "the bomb" were so crazy, contradictory, etc that I don't even know how to do 180's regarding them. One minute it was I'm too dependent, the next minute I'm too independent. So I am just doing 180's on things that I don't really like about myself.

I am trying to take Ben's advice and practice my 180's on others...but that is difficult because I don't generally argue with anyone else and that was what my 180's are around. This morning while talking with my mom who was upset at one of my uncle's I gave her a suggestion which would be a 180 from her usual behavior (and also my own with my H). Also after reading about shaming in males I am trying to discipline/encourage my male students in different ways.

I was looking more for the WAH strands for reinforcement....seeing on a thread that when my H said he "never loved me" was a typical script and not really a reflection of our relationship honestly made me feel about 1,000,000,000 times better. And for more ideas on how to improve our relationship. While our situation is obviously unique I notice it has many similarities to other situations.