I have decided to move myself over to this section, even though H and haven't "officially" decided that we're piecing, but there are many indicators that could point to this. And there are also a couple of things that haven't been settled yet (that I wish were settled, which would really mean that we're R).
First things first, here are the links to my threads...
A quick summary of my sitch: H dropped the bomb the day after Thanksgiving. Things were pretty bad, as they are for most of us here. Turned out H was in an EA, ended up kissing OW (that's all I know). H was very angry, blamed me for all things that went bad, pretty much followed the WAS script to the T. H talked about D, splitting amicably, was planning to move out (contacted ads), but held back due to finances. H took off his wedding band sometime in Jan or Feb.
In mid-March, H went away for 2 weeks, a mix of business and family visits, and when he came back he seemed different, like he was warming up again. Said he missed "his wife".
Since then, things have slowly been on the upswing. We are intimate quite regularly, he's been more affectionate - hugs, kisses, more cuddly. He started saying ILY again a few weeks ago, though not daily, but they are becoming more frequent. He put on his wedding band a few weeks ago (not by himself though, I questioned him about it as I had done before, but this time he put it back on). So, it seems like things are looking up. But....
H still refuses to break ALL contact with OW. They used to work together (until last Friday), side by side. I had a hard time accepting that at first, but was able to not drive myself too crazy. He is still friends with her on FB (that was one major communication line before), she's still in his phone contacts, etc.
He says they are "just friends" and that I have to "deal with it and move on". The problem is that I can't move on unless ALL contacts have been cut. I've read in a few places that a marriage cannot start healing unless all contacts are cut, which is absolutely true in my case.
Thankfully, H got a new job that he will be starting next week. I am hoping that it could be just what we need, a new beginning. However, at some point I do expect him to wipe out OW from his life, and to fully commit to the M.
I am feeling very resentful towards H because of his choice to put his "friend" before his W. Every day I wonder how the heck we got here, that it seems to be a very bad dream and I wish I could wake up any second. I know the EA is not the only problem. Of course, there were things that lead up to that and are just as important. But in order to put closure to that and to be able to focus on rebuilding the marriage, I NEED to see that OW is gone 100% (Even if it seems selfish of me).
