W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P3

[25yearsmlc]

Snowman

I think the amount of content you still spend on your wife and your perception of all her flaws, is a waste of time.

You still do it, and you judge her and condemn her and then ask how YOU "can help someone so insecure"...as if that's really your goal.

Your goal was originally for her to realize the error of her ways but you seem more bent on just making her wrong...

like the phone call from London (and the trip iteself which you still gripe about) she was wrong to call on HER time and not on your son's. You were right to say "no" and that's it. But when she tried to call back and it failed, neither of you were at fault but you BOTH blamed the other. She let it go but you are still angry at her...

see any pattern?

It's not your job to fix her or judge her or condemn her or join in with negative discussions about her with long time friends.

The "Friend" was about the church and did she say ANYTHING good about your w or did you only post the negatives?

See none of that helps YOU OR the situation. The minute you realze the only focus of yours ought to be on you

is the minute real growth will happen. I have not seen much.

You say you "are working on your issues' but after that classic deflection (after the pseudo self awareness the words feign)

the very next CLAUSE in that sentence veers back to your favorite topic, her flaws, her blameworthiness, & your apparent powerlessness to change YOUR situation.

Look at how much of what you write is still all about her...and is ANY of it not negative?

I don't buy that you "want to understand" b/c if that were your real goal you'd be wanting to find YOUR OWN ROLE IN THIS

and you'd work on that.

Maybe There's something in you that you do not want to see b /c you sure spend a ton of energy keeping your focus on someone you have zero control over (her)

and none of your energy on the person you have sole control over, which is YOU...

I'm not interested in your w's self proclaimed friend from childhood/the church, who believes your w had abandoned their mutual faith (so that "friend" is not objective)

or your own analysis of your w or her flaws...


I want to know what YOU have learned about YOU....

b/c in the final analysis,

THIS is THE ONLY QUESTION that matters for you & your w...

how would marriage to Snowman, from this day forward,

be better or different than before?

If you/she cannot answer this^^ speciflcally, w/ ways that YOU have improved and changed,

then you cannot expect her to return.