You do sound like you are coming along nicely. Keep moving forward and I am sure that your W will notice and who knows...
I think it's fair of you to say that you are wanting to understand so maybe it seems like you are frustrated and just want to put a label on your W's "condition" and put it away in a box.
As you've likely read, traditional MLC happens in mid life and it includes "crises" (meaning it's not controlled by the individual). A crises can happen at any time and the "condition" is an uncontrolled (life) transition for the individual.
Is your W MLC? I don't know. Nor will you know... I kinda don't think so, but in the same token she may be going through a transition that is... well, a little less than "responsible"...
Here's the thing though... let's say it's just a transition she is going through.
If that transition is interrupted... say by a uncomfortable spouse who attempts to control and otherwise stop the transition... well, this can cause the transition to not be complete... which likely means that the person in transition will have to come around to finishing that "work" in a later transition... can you say "MLC in the making"?
You have to let your W "find" herself. And even though people in transitions can often not realize that they need to stand still to find themselves... it may occur to her that everything she is and everything that she wants is right in front of her...
YOU just need to make sure that WHO she wants... is right in front of her when she stops to look at you...
