Wow. I don't even know what to say. But wow. I wonder why he's so angry? Good for you for still taking the high road. I'm sure that wasn't easy.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
I called my good friend and my mom and just let the expletives fly! Honestly this environment is so unhealthy for me. He just does not get it. He harbors so much anger and resentment toward me. It seems like whenever he is being nice he just has an agenda and is looking to make himself feel better. I don't know what to believe anymore. He is just so not the man I married.
It is hard to detach when he is in one of these moods. I feel like he is playing head games with me.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
So I had to call H to find out what room the parenting class was in and he tells me. I get to the facility only to find out that room does not exist. So I see a sign which says what room the parenting class is in and I call H to tell him. He jokes "that is why I sent you in on a mission to scope things out." I reply "well then I guess you should feel fortunate that I reported back to you." He said he was and I said "you should count your blessings." I think the irony was lost on him. He has no idea what he is in for once this is final.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
WH, I haven't posted to you but I've been reading your threads. All I can say is you're a better woman than I am. I don't know how you're doing it.
I was thinking to myself what I would do. I think if it were me (remember, I'm not like you,) I would do everything I possibly could for him until the divorce was signed, and then go completely dark. I would do everything I could to make his fall from the cliff as high and long as possible.
Been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching and since the shock of D has started to wear off reality has been starting to set in. I remember that before the bomb drop that I wasn't really happy with things either. For 3 months before bomb drop H had been acting strangely and my sixth sense was ringing loudly. Unfortunately at that point there was nothing I could have said or done to alter the course of events.
H is no longer the man I married. I need to accept that and let him take his journey. I still have moments when I wonder "what if" but those moments are fewer and farther between. It saddens me deeply when I remember what we used to have. It makes me wonder if that was all fake and if I was in love with a persona, not a person?
So onward and upward with my journey to find myself and become a better person. I really feel myself spiraling upward and becoming stronger every day. I still pray every day for strength and guidance and I feel God telling me to "be still" and "everything in time".
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I am starting to wonder the same thing. Was it really him that I was in love with or the thought of him and what I thought he was? Harsh realities. And, yes, it does require much patience to be able to come to a real answer, I'm afraid.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
WH it sounds like you are in a good place to recognize that neither of you were happy before the bomb. I think that is common to a lot of our respective situations. I'm sure that what you are mourning now was not fake at all. It was just a different time, kind of a different life.
I think "Spiraling Upward" is an amazing metaphor (seriously, when I think of what it means it almost makes me feel stronger just aspiring to be able to do that) and would make a great new thread title
WH, I haven't posted to you but I've been reading your threads. All I can say is you're a better woman than I am. I don't know how you're doing it.
I was thinking to myself what I would do. I think if it were me (remember, I'm not like you,) I would do everything I possibly could for him until the divorce was signed, and then go completely dark. I would do everything I could to make his fall from the cliff as high and long as possible.
But that's just me.
I just saw this post, Crazyville, and I wanted to let you know that your idea is completely my intention. H doesn't realize it yet, but life for him is not going to be a bed of roses once D is final and we are separated. He has no clue how much cake eating he is doing right now. I do everything around the house, except the outdoor work. I pay the bills, arrange the schedules, take care of laundry, groceries, carting kids, dinners, baths, etc. His head will just spin.
Not to mention OW lives over an hour away and he has been keeping himself occupied tiling her kitchen, buying her shoes, buying her groceries, even paid her car registration, and he even bought her shampoo and conditioner!!!! WTF!!! Not to mention she has two children and with our two children and with him paying me his money will be slipping through his fingers. I can already see cracks in the foundation. Like I said, God just keeps telling me to be still and wait. But patience is not my greatest virtue.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Patience is not a suit any of us like to wear!!! Oh how the make-up fades over time doesn't it?
Keep fighting the good fight W&H....over time they will come to their senses....the real question they should be asking themselves is whether or not we will still be there.
