Hello, WAW. Is anyone there?

[AlwaysTrying]

I really wanted to try to be giving my W all kinds of extra space before our next counseling session so we can talk about how I can give her more space so that at the next counseling session we can talk about how maybe I *can* give her the space she needs and we should put the divorce on hold.

Today, I failed in a few ways. Wife was in a really bad stressed mood. She is getting ready for a weekend away for her cousin's wedding and she feels fat. She feels unprepared. She has no swimsuit. She may have said something like "fat people don't need swimsuits".

I said, "You seem really stressed. How about a hug?" She leaned in and pulled back at the last moment and said, "Oh, I'm mad at you! I can't hug you." "About what?" "About what you posted on Facebook."

I wish I knew why that upset her. I had a hard time dealing with the fact that I knew she was upset with me, but I wasn't sure why and it was hard not to call and ask. When she went to run errands, I realized I had been kinda slow on the fat thing, so I sent her a couple of texts: "Maybe you don't have the body you want right now, but you are an attractive woman. It's sad to hear you say you're fat." "I often think to myself, 'wow! That's a cute girl over there.'"

No response.

When she got home, it looked like she wasn't going to be happy as long as I was there, so I tried to get going (have to wash dishes and clean up first) but there were two loads of laundry sitting up in the living room that needed to be folded that I brought up there while she was out. I felt really bad about not folding them and I tried to ask my wife if she wanted me to help fold the laundry before I left. She actually avoided the question. She's going to be annoyed that she has to do it herself, annoyed that I left it there for her, annoyed that I was there to begin with, annoyed that I had to ask, annoyed that I didn't leave the house sooner, and annoyed that I left her with a mess. Annoying.

So I called her when I left the house in the hope that she would be able to talk if she knew that she didn't have to deal with my immediate physical presence, and I asked her if there is anything I can do to help take a load off of her.

It is so hard to resist the urge to try and make things better for her. I still love this woman. Madly? I've loved her madly for nearly 14 years. I guess I don't feel quite the same as before, but I do want to make her happy.