So the thing I struggle with and why your post made so much sense is this. If the roles were reversed and I wanted a D I would make a phone call, get a L, and serve her papers. Takes 5 minutes.
I honestly have to say that while no one can tell me that my W is MLC (because as mentioned, one really can't be 100% sure until they are through, and even then... ???), and I did have a couple good members tell me that it was quite likely, it was 25's comments to me that struck me the most.
+ The work is the same. + Would it make a difference to you.
One thing does not make someone MLC, but I will agree with you... Unfortunately I have not had a WAS tell me yet that they waffled at filing... that is, if they were absolutely determined to D.
While I have to say that I have seem progress in you, that it is still an uphill battle and long distance for you. So I say completely tongue in cheek... it's unlikely that your W is waffling on the D because she has seen remarkable, positive change in you...
That being said, do not stop or slow down on the work you are doing for yourself. The benefits will be tremendous in all aspects of your life and IF your W is MLC, she still will notice the changes. And MLC or WAS, that is a good thing... because it MIGHT lead to their change of heart.
Originally Posted By: netmaster
KD. I swear to god I feel I could only detach by using some OW. Am I crazy for thinking that????
No, NM. It is not "crazy" thinking, if in that context our idea of what crazy is, is similar.
Most people, while they may enjoy sleeping alone, either by habit or by preference... like a warm body to be with, now and then... sometimes more now than then...
Nothing good comes out of an OP... Unless you are appropriately detached, have done a good portion of the work to help yourself, and you are truly done and ready to move on with someone new.
Because you cannot undo something like that. Even if your W never knew, YOU would... and you would probably feel extremely guilty if you and your W reconciled.
Best thing to do about those thoughts is the same as you are to do with your W...
GAL so you don't have time to think about them... you're too busy enjoying everything else that is non-destructive, in life...
