No worries, Meredith. Even if Betsey was your H's Prince (Princess) text messager also, there is no way she could continue. She LUVS us way too much now to do that. Honestly now, who is better relationship material- you, or him? 'Nuf said!
O.K., back to work here. I mentioned last night that my H asked about how I changed myself. I am happy that he recognizes his own need for some changes. I am concerned about how badly he feels about himself. He said that sometimes he is driving along and he thinks of something he has done that he is ashamed of, and the feeling it brings about is overwhelming. I started to tell him that he isn't a bad person, etc., but he cut me off and said, "I don't want you to solve this. I don't want you to try to make me feel better. It is a lot that I could just say that much, so let's let that be it for the time being." The old me would have run right over that sentence. I would have kept talking anyway, sure that what I had to say would be so brilliant that he would be happy that I didn't listen to him telling me to stop. I just said, "O.K." This gets easier the more you do it, that's for sure! So, hopefully he is on the road to discovering that you cannot love someone else if you do not love yourself... You know, he's really not a bad guy. He has made a few dumb choices, but really he wouldn't want to hurt a fly. I am slowly starting to see that our problems weren't all because of me! I think this is dawning on him also. I am starting to have a bit of hope here. Someone stop me quick! This is when all he!! breaks loose, right?
I wonder why he sees so many things as "weaknesses." His parents weren't the type to say, "no emotion...be a man!" Of course, I don't know a lot about his R with his dad, so maybe I am wrong. Incidentally, his dad called here last night. I answered the phone, and he said, "Can I speak to _______?" No "hello", no "how are you?" Normally I would get irritated and be snotty, but last night I just started laughing. I was laughing so hard that I could barely say "hold on a sec, I'll get him." He does the same thing when my kids answer the phone. Is that crazy? He is their Grandfather, for crying out loud! One of them will answer, and he'll say, "Can I speak to your dad?" Of course, since he only calls maybe twice a year, this is no real hardship on any of us. That man is a real piece of work.
I promised myself I would be cleaning the house on my day off. I ended up babysitting for a friend for the last couple of hours. Now it is noon and I have nothing done! Off to make sense of this messy house!
