It's not uncommon to find, as adults, that we are replicating the positions we saw our parents in as children, even when at the time we were aware of and rejected their limitations. It's a matter of settling into the grooves that seem "familiar" to us, so that we don't notice at first how much pain they cause. Still, the first step in creating change is to become aware of our unconscious patterns of recreating what we've known. And I hope your H is beginning to realize the degree to which he's done the same....
Your Mother's day feast sounds amazing! Good work on ignoring the anger and on remaining detached no matter where your H is travelling to.
