Sadly Returning

[Hopingtomakeit]

Thank You, Guys so much for your feedback. Let me give a little bit more insight and hopefully help you guys understand. My wife and I as far as i was aware were pretty good. I knew things weren't 100% percent but i felt we were working on it and building a future.

Recently, my wife shut down and really didnt want me to touch her. I have been feeling like i was a rapist or a wife beater. It has been really hurting me. So, them my wife started adding a new hobby of spending time with her friends on friday nights. This again is a huge red flag but i wanted her to be able to have friendship and be able to go out when she wants to. I just ask that she spends time with me.

So last Saturday morning. I got up and i cleaned the house for mothers day. This was my plan for months. I wanted to make sure she didn't have to work at all. I cleaned the house and was waiting for her. She went out with her friend to the gym and was gone for a long time. I was very frustrated because this has happen several weekends in a row and i really wanted to spend some quality time with my wife. So, i wait at the house till 12 and left when she didnt come. I let her know via text and then went out with a friend for a couple hours. I came home around 2pm and My wife had been waiting for me to eat. We got her some food and watched some TV. (I suggested many times during this TV time to go out and do something but she didnt want to.)

On Sunday. We had a nice day at the beach. Then she told me that she wanted to go to the movies with her and our son. She wanted to do a mother/son thing. This is a very odd request for my wife. I then said to her. Do you plan on meeting up with your friend. She said no. She then left and i found out she met with her friend. (she told me...she didnt lie or anything) Now, i wasnt up about her going just that she couldnt be honest with me. This caused a big fight and basicly lead to me sleeping on the couch and then talking about the big D. Sadly, the big D was brought up by me because i didnt think that it had gotten that bad and was basicly asking are you in the same place again. She said "I love you but im not in love with you." etc etc etc

Since, then i have been a mess and trying to figure it out. I am not sure if i want to fight for the wife or deal with this issue. I kind of want to tell her that i was angry and but i still want to work on things. However, when i talk to her i am very passive/agressive I am kind of like. Lets tell the kids, lets figure this out if this is something you want. I am just angry and still trying to work it out.

Clove- I dont know where i am now. I am kind of distant and upset. I have spent so much time on the marrige. I have lost me for a bit. I was kind of in a good space. I make a decent amount of money and i feel that i am taking care of my family for the first time in my life. However, I recently realized that i am fat. I have been fat for awhile but i started looking at myself in the mirror and have kind of accepted that. This has put my in a weird spot. I read DR last night. However, i think i read it looking for answer not as a guide. I kind of felt, i have been in this situation. I know what to do but what do you do now? I have changed completely i am a different person then i was before i read the book and a better husband. However, i may have lost some of myself along the way. I will think about that a bit.


Totally: Ya, i dont know what it is about this grass is always greener. How are you GAL with all the children? It seems like that would be very hard. I have made the changes i need to to be a better husband. There isnt much more that i can do there. I fixed alot of that the first time. I think i may have lost a bit of myself the question is what is missing that my wife may be looking for.