4th and long, goal to go, touchdown required

[Broken74]

Thanks oldtimer,

Wow, you are right. I appreciate your not sugar coating anything, that really helps me think. I know I still have a long way to go, I honestly can't argue any of your points.

Particularly the rape statement, the way that came out on paper is the wrong way. The thing is she got pregnant by her 15 year old boyfriend at 14, but he wasn't charged with anything (although he's in jail now for shooting somebody in the back). This being said the likely scenario here was that she had consensual sex with her boyfriend and got pregnant. Hence my quotes, I can see how that seems cold and callous. We only talked about this briefly once, I thought it was always better to leave that alone, which was a mistake, we should have talked about it in detail since she is my W after all...

The girl I am seeing is 25, is a graduate student and personal trainer and is way out of my league. I realize I have not be fully honest with her and that is not fair to her, I am going to clear that up this weekend (first thing not last thing) and I'm certain that will be the end of it.

As far as the 529k donations, I am doing it because I feel it is the right thing to do, and I can afford to do it. She can't do it as a single mom, and their dad's certainly aren't going to do it. I'm going to support them as long as they are my stepchildren. Am I going to continue doing this if we get divorced, no, because I will no longer be their stepfather at that time. Maybe I'm trying to make up now for my lack of involvement with them before, I'm just doing what I feel is right.

I am not trying to minimize my verbal abuse, I am guilty of saying things to my wife that I shouldn't have said. Had she not had the affair however, none of those charges would have ever been filed. She filed the 50b because I busted her red handed prior to our being legally separated, her boyfriend dumped her as a result and she needed ammunition. The teacher in my classes agrees with this assessment. I violated the 50B because I walked into her new house THAT I PAID THE DEPOSIT AND FIRST MONTHS RENT ON because her affair partner was there, and I wanted to TALK to him face to face, and he didn't have the balls to do that otherwise. That is why I am in these classes, they have helped me with my anger, knowing my triggers, and a lot of other things.

I am a good guy and I try to do the right thing but I do have a myriad of issues, and I continue to work on those. Most likely without the distraction of my lady friend in the very near future.

Thanks again oldtimer, I appreciate your input. It is some of the best feedback I have gotten on this board and gives me a lot to think about. I still have a lot of work to do.