Hoping...almost same sitch. W and I separated 3 1/2 years ago...things backslided and now we are in mediation on Thursday...D is imminent. The only thing I can suggest is to GAL...don't worry about doing things with her...only do things for you, and kids if necessary. Your W seems to have checked out right now...mine is definitely going through MLC and there is nothing I can do about it. Your W may be as well...especially since friend(s) are going through same...sort of a "start a new life pact"...what fun....emotional Thelma and Louise's.
My W sister divorced last year and I feel this has something to do with my sitch...grass is always greener from sister because misery loves company. So...she set me up to fail...to be perfect just for an excuse...relying on me for her happiness. This will only hurt my W...because she really has no clue what she's doing, she's flying by the seat of her pants with no clear direction...never focused on herself through any of this, and same issues will just follow her around for the rest of her life. I'm sure I'll get blamed for it though. But, I hope she does take this space and time to truly be honest with herself...to focus from within to become stronger and more self confident. Because the only way we will R in the future is if she can admit that no one else is responsible for happiness...and she's able to let go of the past. She will not be able to do it if she refuses to take any responsibility for her sitch and her own mental well being.
Again, all I can do is focus on myself, look within for my own happiness, love myself and my surroundings because that will only make me love others better. I've done evrything I can for my R now...and it's all in my W's court...I have no control so I am not even going to try. I'm going to be a good friend, a good father and be supportive as much as I can...but I'm GAL(ing) like mad. I suggest you do the same my friend...no matter how hard it is, you cannot rely on your W for your emotional support anymore. If it's meant to be and you truly begin to focus on yourself, your W will take notice and see you differently. When she does then you have all the control (use it wisely)...and if not, then the worst we have is a better you.
Me:44, W: 39 D:16, D:14, D:11(special needs) M:17, T:21+ Bomb:3/18/12 W contacted mediator for D:3/27/12 Separate since bomb Mediation, signed agreement 5/17/12 No talk of D since mediation
But, I hope she does take this space and time to truly be honest with herself...to focus from within to become stronger and more self confident. Because the only way we will R in the future is if she can admit that no one else is responsible for happiness...and she's able to let go of the past. She will not be able to do it if she refuses to take any responsibility for her sitch and her own mental well being.