My Story So Far. Is this even worth saving?

[timbits]

Had my appointment with my IC today. She agrees that I need to start taking care of myself, but said she doesn't think I should focus on weight loss right now because it "would just be another thing to beat yourself up over". She said that I have to learn to set firm boundaries with both my H and my family. I tend not to do this and it drives me crazy. She said that he is responsible for his actions and I am responsible for mine and that I had to decide if I was staying in this marriage out of fear of abandonment or because I truly want to stay married. I love him and want to be with him, but I don't really like who I've become lately. I don't know if I can change that, but I want to try.

H is being ok, still more of the same, but I feel like he thinks everything is blown over and we're fine and dandy. Well, we're not. I never even got to address my own issues because he was in crisis. The IC (who was also our MC) said that she really worried about me after our sessions ended and that she felt I wasn't even remotely scratching the surface of getting over the A. I agree. I'm still very hurt over it. I feel like H doesn't respect me. I don't know if that is true, but I need to work on why I feel that way and if it is justified.

I think I'm in for the long haul in this marriage, but not at the expense of who I am.

I still have some thinking to do. I'm just going to let it all marinate, lol. I'm not making any decisions right now on what will happen or what I will do. I know that this is not the time for that. But I have to think about what I really want and not be afraid of it.