My own thread...my sordid story.

[Meredith]

Pamela,

You poor thing...I know exactly what that feels like. Here's a few that I found on H's...

can i c u 2 day?
i need u 2 baby me
i want to cuddle
what did you tell her?
what does she think happened?

OH, let me tell you...rage was a complete understatement! For the sake of empathy, I'll tell you that story. You see...my H lost his cell phone and was panicked about it. I don't mean the 'it cost a lot of money and we'll have to replace it' panic...it was pure panic. So, he spent two days going out of his mind with fear looking for this phone. Like the crazymaker that I am, I sense fear. I know my H pretty well, and I also know how well he looks for things (not very). So, when he left for work in the morning I got up and started looking myself. Sure enough, there was his phone in the laundry. The only thing that I could find that was odd was the OW’s name was in the call log an awful lot. I called my best friend, starting to panic myself. She came right over and showed me how to find the text messages. 62, count ‘em 62, text messages from this whore. Some of them referenced our son! I was physically ill after seeing this. The full story is somewhere on my first thread, but it isn’t that relevant. The point is, I have definitely been there, done that and have the free t-shirt (or however the saying goes). I wish I could take you to lunch…I understand all too well the need to vent and rage right now.

The important thing to remember is that venting and raging at your H will get you nowhere. Make the inches jokes here…we’ll all enjoy them and probably add a few! One of many things that are honesty irritating about text messages is that you don’t get to see what your H wrote – either originally or as a reply. Maybe the message was received completely in error; maybe she was trying to text another number and got one digit wrong. Maybe he’s a lying bastard! So, take a deep breath and leave the house. Take the phone with you if you want to. Or leave it there and let H find out you snooped. Whatever. Just get yourself to a place where you can be calm.

You’ve read my posts…you know my sarcastic abilities and my need for screaming. So, it may surprise you that I didn’t tell my H that I knew for a day or two. I had to calm down and get my ducks in a row. When I did tell him, it got ugly from many angles. I cried, threw up, made him call the OW, threw him out and then collapsed on the couch for the next two days. Looking back, I wish that I had accepted H’s plead to stay because making him leave for the weekend meant that he hasn’t come back!

Now might be your biggest opportunity (yep, I really do mean opportunity) to show him you’ve changed and can handle things rationally.