Well I took a moment and stopped rewriting the sitch in my head. I was incredibly incredibly unhappy. We never communicated in the SAME house. He was unahppy. Soooo unhappy with life, with everything.
I hate that his happiness and my decisions mean that he's now involved with someone else, because I feel like it's closed the door (for the time being) on a chance for us. But there's every possibility that without an outside person he still would have chosen not to return to the relationship....yet
I do in my heart of hearts feel like there is a yet. He has never said there isn't a chance. He has never said that I've hurt him beyond repair or something. I think that my strong personality has led him to choose someone he feels "safe" with.
He felt like courtships was easy, she isn't really pretty so doesn't intimidate him, she works in a "logical" field (he said talking to her is like watching the history channel he could listen to stuff about her job all day...YAWN)
He has always loved my fiestiness, my loud colorful confident free attitude, the fact that when we met I was wearing earrings the size of stop signs haha, I always have some crazy idea/plan/scheme going on, I guess in short I'm saying he'll get bored.
At what point does the fear stop outweighing attraction. There is no doubt he will never have more fun with someone else. But maybe he's decided he doesn't need that anymore. haha
While typing this he texted me a picture of an onion at his place that had started sprouting with a little joke. So we texted back and forth about that. I had texted him earlier about the hospital situation. All facts. no emotion. He texted back some encouragement. I kept it business! I have to have to have to be the one to end the communication. Otherwise I text a reply and hate waiting for another reply that never comes.
