So the thing I struggle with and why your post made so much sense is this. If the roles were reversed and I wanted a D I would make a phone call, get a L, and serve her papers. Takes 5 minutes.

My confusion really why isn't she doing this. Is it possible she is having second thoughts on the whole process. That she acts only on the emotions she is currently feeling. 5 days goes by and she thinks what am I doing.

Is it possible she may tell neighbors one thing. Like she did the other day. I want a L but the costs etc.. Then same night invite me over to eat for pizza and next day invite me over for mothers day bbq. She may tell the neighbor this to get her off her back.

I guess Mr. B is right. Stop trying to figure out craziness.

I have the lease to the new place in my inbox. I'm going to take the place. It is perfect spot for me and kids. Plus bigger. 1800 sq feet compared to 690. Condo. It is a year lease but I like have the insurance of having the place. I would hate to lose the place and in 4 days get served papers etc..

I figure it this way. The only way I could move back home is if she was willing to work on M with me. She shows no signs of this so I have to prepare for the worse and hope for the best. The lease could be broken.

So I do think it is a good step to get a nice job (keep hamster busy during day) and have a nicer place.

Yes "joyous" surprise makes sense. She always said that she wants things to be amicable. That is why she invites me over to eat and to bbq's. she states "FOR THE KIDS ONLY". the 2 times we were hanging out more I pursued her. Remember I tried to get laid once and the other time I hugged her. That is when she said "see I can't be nice to you because you interpret it as us getting back together.

So I've learned from that. Even this weekend hanging out. I had zero expectations. I will tell you this. That night leaving BBQ was very tough on me emotionally. Usually I would load up the car and take family home. This time I had to say goodbye to everyone and leave.

KD. I swear to god I feel I could only detach by using some OW. Am I crazy for thinking that???? I feel like that would be the only way for me to ever fully detach. It almost makes me sick thinking about it. The scary part is that my W is so detached nothing I do even bothers her. I swear I could show up to the house with 2 women 1 in each arm and she wouldn't even notice lol