I don’t post much but for some reason your story caught my eye. I want you to know that we are all human and we think therefore we will make mistakes. Learning from our mistakes is what make us grow and flourish in life. From your H’s prospective he has been hurt and he is trying to self medicate with the OW. Time is your friend, actually your best friend. Getting with someone else after a long term marriage doesn’t stop that hurt it only adds to the problem. I know everyone on here wants a fix it now solution but life doesn’t work that way. Be patient and work through your issues. Write a list of the things that are important in life. Think about what truly makes you happy. Do the things that make you happy. Read and read some more and learn everything you can. One day down the road you will need all of this information.
If you love someone set them free! Think about that. How cool is it to be strong and confident enough to let the person you love be free? It will surprise you. Remember your actions are what he is watching. I don’t know one person that doesn’t find a strong confident person attractive. Debbie downer has never been attractive and people can see right through someone being fake. Time is still your friend.
From this point forward this is all about you. When you think about him, STOP! You can’t control what your H has in his head. You don’t even know what he has on his mind. Don’t let that take over your mind. The only person that we can control are ourselves. Start working on taking back control of your life. Don’t try and slide around the hard work because that is just setting you up for failure. Work hard and play hard and if you are religious pray harder. Work on forgiving yourself for the mistakes you have made then work on forgiving your H for his mistakes. Forgiveness is an awesome little gift.
Learn to love yourself again. Only when you truly love yourself can you ever love someone else.
You seem to be heading in the right direction and I hope you continue. Keep on keeping on, it’s the only way out.
Take care!
Me 44 W 38 M 18 D 18 D 13 Bomb 10/21/2010 Divorced 7/19/2011 Just getting to the 7th inning!
