Hello DB Goddesses (and anyone else who happens to be reading this!)
Just finished the 5 LL book. Betsey, you say jump, I say, "how high?" Actually, I have been meaning to do this for awhile. Just so happens middle son and I were walking by Barnes and Noble and he asked if he could go in and find some "clasics" to read. A 15 year old wanting to read the classics? I am blessed! He picked up "The Count of Monte Cristo" and "A Tale of Two Cities." Mind you, he is an excellent athlete, and is constantly told he looks like John Mayer (singer). I threw that in there for those of you thinking, "nerd alert!"
ANYWAY, I got the book, came right home and dug right in.
Betsey, you get an "A" for the day. H is most definately a "words of affirmation" person. This has been right in front of me, yet I didn't clue it in.
A big "F" for me.
Here are a few examples as to how glaringly obvious it is:
1. Last week I went to visit family overnight. I left before H got home from work. I left a note on the bed that thanked him for all he did during the holidays for us. (Picking up a few gifts, buying the ham, wrapping gifts, etc.) Today I saw that the note is still tucked away in his underwear drawer...
2. He was telling me about something he did while playing soccer the other day, and I said I could picture it, as I knew he was good at this particular kind of play. He did a double take, and slowly said, "You never said anything like that to me before."
and finally,
3. On Christmas Day I was a little weepy because H has ALWAYS given me a box of undies and bras and assorted things from Victoria's Secret every Christmas. Well, except for this year. I knew that he wasn't in the frame of mind for that this year, but still, I was sad that the tradition ended. He asked me what was wrong and I was truthful. He was surprised, because he didn't think I liked this gift, that he always felt it was more for him anyway. He had his arms around me as I explained that I did like it, but I realize I never told him. I made little jokes about "my annual box-o-undergarments," but never expressed gratitude. (I did appreciate it! He has great taste, and I never have to buy my own bras and undies! ) As he held me, I felt the need to continue the convo by wailing, "and now all I am to you is FLANNEL!" (one of my gifts was a flannel stadium throw for the cold nights out watching the boys play soccer). IMMEDIATELY his arms dropped. I quickly recovered with, "I'm sorry, it was really a thoughtful gift, and I don't mean to take away from it." The arms went right back around me.
These all happened in the last 2 weeks! Imagine all of the other things that I didn't pick up on!

I am easily a "quality time" person. I won't even hope that I will get this from him until I start speaking his language. He asked me about the book, but had one eye on the TV while I told him about it....

wow. This is a lot to absorb for one night! I have lots of thinking to do, and lots of plans to formulate. The sad part about this is, I have always felt these things about H, just never expressed them. Instead, I have been providing "acts of service," thinking that I was showing love by cooking, cleaning, ironing, etc... He kept telling me I was mothering him, but I was so sure that I was showing love that I just didn't listen.