Having a hard day. Thinking about mothers day. I was hoping my H and I would be getting pregnant soon. So sick of people saying "at least you didn't have kids"- like that makes my situation any less difficult. I cried while buying a mother's day card for my mom today. So embarrassing- especially since the card aisle was crowded.
Wondering if I should send me mother in law an email wishing her a happy mother's day. I know this has been hard on her but I'm not sure if that will be nice or make her upset to get. When my H left on Monday I said 'wish your mom a happy mothers day for me' as a way of reminding him too. We always had mothers day at our house
Me-32 H-31 M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs No kids, 3 pets H estranged father passes away- 8/11 Bomb- 1/15/12 Began LRT- 4/1/12
I miss my H as well. We all used to go to a champagne brunch at the local golf club. He asked last night if we were going to that and I said no. He asked why and I just said it does not feel the same.
You are not alone. I understand and just because you don't have kids doesn't make it easier for sure.
Take care of yourself!
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I'm just so angry. I'm home doing yard work on a beautiful Saturday while he is out doing whatever. He wants to keep our house and have me live here and get a roommate and he will continue to pay a portion of the mortgage- but not his full share- bc he wants to get an apartment and is 'broke' From his longer commute while living with his mom. At first I wanted to do this too but I'm changing my mind. Why should I keep up the inside Of the home, pay all the bills and do yard work on our over 1 acre property when he gets to just cut the lawn once every week. It's not fair.
Me-32 H-31 M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs No kids, 3 pets H estranged father passes away- 8/11 Bomb- 1/15/12 Began LRT- 4/1/12
First you showed huge growth and dedication to stick to that N/C for so long. There's no way I could have sat inside while he cut the grass.
I can empathize with a lot of what you said about who you became during your marriage. I would suggest making a list of who you were before (including the things that attracted him to you) and trying doing those things to make you feel better. Even if it's small like getting a weekly manicure!
No one here can say whether or not he will change his mind or the two of you will work things out .... or if that's what you even want.
Continue to take care of yourself. Oh and yes people say some horrible things. Also I get you on the wanting to have kids front. But I have a coworker who got pregnant when she wasn't even trying at 40! So just trust that things will happen in time. 4 years ago I met two wonderful girls. One had just ended a 7 year relationship and the other was heartbroken over her divorce. Today one is married and starting IVF, the other is pregnant and just bought a gorgeous house with her BF. They are amazingly happy and I remember when they thought they'd be living in a group home with cats! haha
Thanks Brit- my LRT doesn't seem to be working in terms of making my husband miss me but it is definitely helping me with detaching.
Yesterday I was at my sisters for mothers day and playing with my oldest nephew- it was the first time I had laughed hysterically in 4 months. It felt really good.
I sent my mother in law a happy mothers day email (that was basically all it said). She responded this morning talking about how she took a trip with a friend to get away from all the stress and how she is sleeping better now, etc. so both her and my H are doing great. I wanted to respond "that's nice I sleep in 4 hour increments" but I didn't. Instead I sent her and my H a video of my nephew being adorable yesterday (and I'm laughing in the background).
My sister made up a story of how my H moved to Africa to study elephants and he has no phone or computer to get them to stop asking for him. She said they could write him a letter but he is probably too busy to write back My H loved my nephews- I don't get how he can give them up too. My heart breaks each time they ask for him.
Me-32 H-31 M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs No kids, 3 pets H estranged father passes away- 8/11 Bomb- 1/15/12 Began LRT- 4/1/12
Just had a huge AHA moment while reading "How to Improve your Marriage Without Talking About It". There is a page that lists what depression can look like in men. My H has so many of these behaviors, including a family history on both sides. I guess I always thought of depression as like the commercials- a dark room with the shades drawn, sleeping all day.
Me-32 H-31 M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs No kids, 3 pets H estranged father passes away- 8/11 Bomb- 1/15/12 Began LRT- 4/1/12
Just had a huge AHA moment while reading "How to Improve your Marriage Without Talking About It". There is a page that lists what depression can look like in men. My H has so many of these behaviors, including a family history on both sides. I guess I always thought of depression as like the commercials- a dark room with the shades drawn, sleeping all day.
That book is literally filled with AHA moments for me. Great resource, glad to hear it is helping you!
Emailed H today because one of our pets is sick. He said he may quit volunteering at the animal shelter bc of this- when there is no way he could have gotten our pet sick through transfer since he doesn't live at home. I feel like he just wants another out of our life together ( even though we split weeks at the shelter now). I feel upset because I was justifying to myself that he was still a good guy since he volunteered. If he wants out of even that then I really can't see any qualities of the man I loved
Me-32 H-31 M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs No kids, 3 pets H estranged father passes away- 8/11 Bomb- 1/15/12 Began LRT- 4/1/12
