kml, I agree w/you 100% w/respect to being in a relationship w/someone who gives back as much as you give.
Wendy, I do hope that you are feeling better. You are going to have ups and downs for quite some time and it's better to cry, scream, or whatever than to try to hold it all in. You are a beautiful human being who doesn't deserve any of this mlc crap. No one should have to go through this and I can almost guarantee that if the shoe was on the other foot, your h wouldn't be as kind as you have been...
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.