I just want to offer an adjustment to your addendum rule #4:
4) IF he volunteers for something AND there's no obvious reason for him to volunteer as it was neither a direct request to him for help nor was it an open request to my friend nor the public at large, then I WILL accept his offer and express my thanks and gratitude.
OK, I admit that's a little lengthy...
The point is, let's say your grass is getting long... you have already proven that you are capable of and willing to get it trimmed, either by yourself or by someone else... and it is a habit....
And one day your X decides to offer to mow your lawn...
no silly, I mean the grass on your front lawn...
Then accept that he is simply offering to do something he WANTS to do... and IT IS OK to accept those offers, now and then...
We talk about this in DBing... You don't accept EVERY offer, but it is certainly OK to accept now and then... friends DO that kind of stuff for friends... unconditional love and all that...
