The L are not just there to protect her from you (or vice versa), it's also to protect you from yourselves. That you don't act from feelings (of guilt, remorse, martyrdom, etc.) and hurt yourselves or your S in the process. Best of luck for mutual peace and amicability in your hearing.
The WAS are typically confused and conflicted, so their behavior makes little sense from the outside. It makes perfect sense from their perspective, though, because it reflects how they feel at that moment in time. When you lead (and accept) by removing yourself from the equation, clarity often follows for them. It's either what they really wanted or not what they really wanted. And they act accordingly.
The longer you stay in the equation, the longer the confusion/limbo/pain goes on for all of you (W, S and you). When you detach yourself emotionally (and/or physically) from the relationship, you allow yourself to see all kinds of great things and opportunities in your life that have been eclipsed by the focus on the R. And you lovingly accept your W's confusion.
Don't smother your lovely W:
Show her your greatest love, by accepting her confusion and ongoing decision to divorce you. Find your way, as she finds hers.
Me-53 W-49 D22,D18,D15 T-Since-12/2001 Married-9/2004 She Moved Out-5/28/2010 Piecing start-04/2011 Now-together Thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2079304
