The long and short of it is..... I ended my marriage in November. We said we'd be friends, it was a shame, it was for the best, etc.
End of Feb he started seeing someone
In beg of March I had a melt down and realized that I may have jumped the gun that we should try to work on this more, he said he thought it was a bit too late, he had signed a lease on an apartment and that he was just now feeling good about himself. He felt that he was coming out of an emotional funk he'd had for years. Perhaps in the future we could go on dates or see if the spark is there but not now.
There was a series of highs and lows always with me confronted with the reality that he was in a relationship. He was choosing that over working on us.
Mid April things began to turn around and I began to just concentrate on our friendship. Last week I had a big smack of reality and am now working on being okay with now. Breaking old ways in which we communicate and interact with each other.
He said I was his best friend and we would always be friends. So here's my rules to be his friend: Friends don't sabotage the others relationship Friends don't flirt with each other. Friends don't sleep with each other. Friends want the best for that person. They're happy for the other's acheivements. Friends aren't jealous of one another. Friends don't have an agenda. Friends don't try to push thier wishes/hopes/dreams/opinions onto that the other A Friend listens more than talks. A friend tries to understand where you're coming from instead of telling you why you're wrong. A friend never says I told you so.
My goals in addition to the 37 rules: 1) Don't tell him your plans for self improvement or GAL 2) Don't look to him for conversation, reassurance, emotional support 3) don't ask for favours 4) if he volunteers say no and really mean it. 5) don't tell him about weight loss (that's looking for reassurance) 6) be bright, fun, breezy, attractive, and just let him notice 7) you're standing for your marriage...but you're not fighting for it so no pursuit
In response to Kaffe:
Quote:
Just because you have accepted what is as what is, does not mean that you can't be open to possibilities...
TRUST me My Best Possible Scenario is us having a better relationship that ever!!
I did get a reply with him saying "Up to you...just don't spend a lot of money on something you'll use twice a year when you can borrow mine" I said "haha don't worry I'll let you know if it's out of my budget" He then texted me his CC info and asked if I could take care of SS cell phone bill because he had no idea how to pay it. I let HIM be the last to text. Silly but I hate replying and not getting a response.
