I'm not going to use it as a platform to pursue. I thanked her for it and that was about it. No plan of increasing contact at all.
I let one of my best friends read it - and it confused them as well. So many positives called out - so many things that liked/likes in me. Hard to see how that transaltes into divorce. I mean really, it was a heart-felt letter about how much better I have made her life. This is something that is not meant for me to understand.
We have the settlement hearing in an hour and a half. The first real legal face-off in this whole process (that makes the letter even HARDER to digest). I am a bundle of nerves at the moment and pray to God that I hold my sh*t together during the hearing. Already I can feel my emotions getting the better of me. I am dreading this more than anything in recent memory. To think that she has a L there to protect her from ME?? I struggle with that a lot.
Oh well - just venting I guess.I just want today to be over.
