It's amazing how childlife they can be....Sometimes I felt like I had 3 kids instead of 2. Oh vie...this too shall pass. Hang in there Autumn. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger...
Well overall it was a good weekend, and somehow we are getting along and putting the kids first. I swear this is a crazy roller coaster.
After confronting him about the property settlement that he is assuming, he has backed off a bit. I was on my way to take my mom to lunch for Mothers day on Saturday when I got notification that the password to our joint account was changed, ugh
I immediately texted him to say "that is illegal, you may want to rethink that" All of our household bills are online bill pay via that account.
He came back to say it was a mistake and he has proof that it was the banks error. He was adding a new account in just his name and it was not supposed to link to the other account at all. Now I have to call the bank to fix my side but nothing has been touched.
He said "as bad as things are, I promised to not ruin you financially and I intend to keep that promise"
I explained that the boys are with me and he is ultimately hurting them, so for that I am thankful (although I don't fully believe him)
Yesterday we texted a few times about the boys and it was calm, he even thanked me for updating him.
I had a very nice mothers day with the boys. They took me to lunch (I got to pay of course haha); S17 bought me flowers and put them in the vase to surprise me. They both helped clean up around the house. Overall it was a wonderful day!!
Will have to see STBX tonight at baseball. We are planning and building the float for S17 prom which is this weekend. As long as we continue to put the kids first, we should be able to do this...I hope.
One day at a time....
For the most part I feel good today though. Hope everyone had a nice weekend!
Autumn, I do believe that it is not your husband's intention to hurt you guys financially. But like a lot of people in his condition and position, he may or may not be able to keep that promise.
One text sent last night was nice and gives me hope for co-parenting. He wished me a happy mothers day and said "as bad as things are, I would never ask for a better mother for my kids-I really mean that"
Oh absolutely agree Starsky, I am 100% protecting myself and my kids. It is just nice to be amicable and I hope it can continue. I don't feel the need to hate each other if we can avoid it. Time will tell
This weekend is S17 prom and he will be here with the boys. He is coming tomorrow, earlier than usual, to put together the float for the kids.
I will leave for the weekend and just be at the parade before the prom, sitting with some of my girlfriends.
This morning he sent me a spreadsheet of household expenses and suggested we temporarily decided on splitting financials until it is more final. I have been suggesting this for some time but he was hesitant and still hopeful I suppose. He is now ready to go through it and sent everything over to review. So I will do that, and hope that the L's catch up quickly as I really want to be sure it is in the best interest of the kids.
I am feeling very exhausted today. In addition to this stress, I run a business and it has been pretty busy. I am glad for the distraction but its a lot at times. This weekend I am getting a good book and taking some time near the water to recharge. I am right on the river and the weather will be gorgeous. Good timing!!
I'm trying to keep from contacting her if at all possible just because it is so darn expensive every time I do. He had 30 days to sign and return the divorce complaint. I know that he hired a L so now we just wait for my L to get the countersigned paperwork, there is nothing she can do in the meantime.
I will definitely send you pics of the prom. So excited for him!!
So the weekend was quite a roller coaster to say the least. Not only was it S17's prom but it was STBX weekend in the home. I stayed at the boat so I could be nearby for prom festivities (parade, etc)
He arrived Friday while the kids were finalizing their float. I left after work and he said he had stopped at the boat to "get things ready" I wasn't sure what that meant and he said "you'll see"
When I got there, he had left me a bottle of wine and a card. The card said he missed me, I have been his best friend for more than half his life and he loves me. More manipulation
Apparently earlier in the day he was talking with a mutual friend and saying "Autumn is jumping the gun, rushing this divorce, it is premature, etc" Friend said "well didn't you cheat on her" and he admitted to it. Friend felt obligated to tell me this. Not sure what I needed that for but felt like another punch in the gut.
Prom went well and we got along for the kids. I stayed with my friends and had S15 with me. He was driving the float
S15 wanted to see his girlfriend Saturday night and since STBX was drinking quite a bit, I agreed to drive him to and from. I dropped him off at my house and went back to the boat. So STBX was alone in the house with no kids, doesn't make any sense to me. Frustrating that I have to leave, but kids made it clear that they don't want to go to the house he lives in. Not until he has a place of his own, and he is in no hurry to do that, ugh
Sunday he was supposed to have S15 until 6pm. S17 went to the beach for a few days with friends after prom. I got a text at 11am saying that he was leaving and S15 was sleeping in. Odd
So I went home and spent the day with S15. Around 8, I texted him about a bill and said S15 was not doing anything if he wanted to connect since they had not all day. He said "i will see him monday at baseball, i had some drinks"
Sent a few odd, short texts to me.
Around 11 after no contact he sent a long text saying "sorry for being short earlier, was a rough day/night. You don't understand how hard it is for me to leave the house and the kids like that"
Clearly if that were true he wouldn't have left at 11am. The short texts meant he wasn't alone and now he was sending stupid excuses to cover
I said "who you are with is none of my business, but ignoring your child is"
He proceeded to call me from the house phone ..to prove where he was I am sure. I told him that I had nothing to say, he is a liar and manipulative and there is nothing to say to him.
This morning I emailed "we will only speak of finances and kids, nothing else. You have your trusted friends for feelings discussions, as do I. We cannot be that for one another."
