Had a DB session with Chuck. He agrees with my assessment we moved far too quickly, but still thinks H is far from knowing what he wants, classic example him re writing history about our relationship. And also when I agreed to leave (due to his hitting the walls, I just said i didn't realise it was causing him so much distress), he strait away started saying i didnt have to leave straight away. So, I'm down, but not yet out - its just back to the drawing board. Most importantly: I've learnt a great deal from this experience and so from that point of view it has not been wasted.
