I had left that ebay thing alone. Had typed it out and then deleted it, hoping you would see how you could handle it in an appropriate way, and I believe you did.
Now notice that he indicated he agreed because he felt bad. Probably a trait that you liked about him. Even though you didn't realize it would be something he regretted years later.
Remember that he indicated he was no longer going to be that person, yet he did it... again...
He's still stuck on you. That is the type of thing that a lot of people I've read here say they'd want from their man. Someone who would walk a million miles and cross an ocean and the andes mountain to "be there" for them...
And a good man would...
But sadly, it leads to expectations... and what's next for a man who has already done an inhuman feat? It's a bar that we set that's near impossible for us to live up to.
Then notice he indicated the "political problem" if he did this for you. It could come from any end, but...
It is up to you to make your own choices and do what you want to do. And it is up to your H to do the same. Using someone else to put the spotlight on...
If he's still doing or not doing things because of someone else...? Then he isn't being that man he says he wants to be... He needs to practice that, more...
Don't worry about being some sort of problem between your H and his GF... that's between the two of them... it does not mean pressure him to do things with or for you... it means if he offers, and you can be sure and clear that he is making a choice of his own accord and not feeling that obligation... well...
Now take a bit of a look at the dynamic of what's just gone on between the two of you...
Did you buy the item because you had hoped he would step in and help?
or did you buy the item because you wanted it... and hoped to find someone to help you get it to you?
Tell me deep down in your core... you didn't have some expectations that your H might... just might... step up... that maybe you were even hoping...
How do you feel knowing that he was once again doing something because he felt obligated or otherwise bad for you...?
And yet... notice that once he offered, you stopped looking for help... and that now that he's said no... you are thinking of trying to change your mind on the purchase...
What message do you think that will give to your H?
My suggestion...?
Figure out how to get that item you purchased... there's companies that will haul that kind of stuff... and it can be "bulk" hauled so that the cost doesn't have to be extremely expensive...
Or keep looking for help and let someone know that you will pay their fuel and a stipend (or beer and pizza; the standard payment for mover friends...)... and get that item to you...
