Thank you Brit for your kind words...if that little response made you cry...you should have seen the actual letter I wrote to her. LOL It made my mother cry.
And I truly appreciate your feedback because that's exactly why I wrote that letter...to take responsibility for my actions, apologize but also to just give a little peek at what our lives could be like if we ever do R. No expectations... Even though I firmly believe that this D is going to happen now...I still hold onto the saying...don't believe anything she says and only half of what she does.
More and more I feel she is definitely in MLC mode...and I need to start reading more in those threads, and re-read the book(s). But again...I'm almost checked out myself now...and am just starting to come to grips with life without my W...and ,again, that's okay. I will still support her. my children...be her friend (best friend) and just keep "showing" her that I am a better man...I am loving, caring, affectionate and sincere. I will stay positive and upbeat, continue to work on my mental and physical state of being...and some day she will see me as her "Prince Charming" again...I just know it. I will step waaaayyyyyyyy back now because I have told myself that I have done everything I can at this point for our R...it's all up to her now...she will now have to live with the responsibility of this decision solely...I am making peace with it...and I am taking the high road.
These feelings she has right now will fade and she will begin to reflect on what we truly had...forgive the bad times...and see me as that person who can make her happy again.
3 more days till mediation...I will definitely keep everyone posted.
Me:44, W: 39 D:16, D:14, D:11(special needs) M:17, T:21+ Bomb:3/18/12 W contacted mediator for D:3/27/12 Separate since bomb Mediation, signed agreement 5/17/12 No talk of D since mediation
