Kimmerz, there were no obvious changes in my H the last couple of years. He's always been somewhat selfish, only committing to what he wanted to do regardless of what the boys and I wanted. But also he was generous in his own way. Finances were frustrating him a great deal. After me not working for so many years he was really feeling the strain of being the sole provider and worrying about the future. We had debt that we were aggressively paying off and he was having a hard time being patient with our plan. I was looking for part-time work, but not aggressively. That's one area where I have a lot of guilt. I learned after the fact that resentment was building. Being pa and ca my H didn't share how he felt. Still, I saw the writing on the wall, but I was so concerned about what we would do with the boys, especially during the summer, that my fear kept me from actively job searching. I was also feeling like I was less than marketable after so many years as a SAHM. I didn't get any understanding or support in this area. Going back to your question, I've looked back and don't see any signs. We had a great family vacation and other good day trips in the year before he left. I didn't have any concerns about my H's whereabouts. However, I do remember saying to a friend in October that I felt that my H and I were disconnected and heading for a rough patch. For the life of me I can't understand why I didn't act on what my gut was telling me. We just seemed to be going along right up until the time that he left. There was an evening that he pushed me away while he was watching tv, but I can't remember how close to bd that was. The last month that we were together seemed pretty normal, in fact, we had done quite a bit without the boys and that felt good to me and like all was well. There were a lot of potential triggers leading to bd. I really don't know what happened. My H just woke up and ran away, later saying he was resentful. I've questioned many times whether he's in MLC. Due to family history, triggers, personality, the way he fled and what he's said I would conclude that he is, but there are days where I carry the burden of his actions and change my mind, thinking I drove him away.