Thanks for the wonderfully kind words, totallydevoted. One of the things I keep going back to is how she always wanted an emotional connection. She wanted deep, connecting conversations. Those moments I tried, she shut me out. Over the last few weeks, she had text me about how she really wanted a deep, productive conversation. Today, in an effort to discuss the M, it all fell apart. Well, maybe it didn't. I said what I had to say and her silence spoke volumes. But I am having a hard time not beating myself up over what could've been. How could I have made this conversation more productive and conducive to reconciliation? I just don't think I could have because her heart is simply not in it. She's trying to work on herself and has absolutely no place for me or the M right now. But the hardest part is not kicking yourself for how it could've possibly gone better. The mental games these situation's create is simply maddening. And that's the hardest part for me.
