BeingMe~ Thank you! Perhaps I missed my calling, should have been a spy. lol j/k There is no doubt in my mind his mommy is helping to systematically destroy our marriage, she is an evil, evil, judgmental person, with a very strange attachment to my H, she definitely favors him over her other 3 children, and has always hated me (I think she's jealous). I've been nothing but nice to that woman, yet she has always been cold and uncaring toward me. I really don't know why she favors him so much.... maybe because he's the first and she had him when she was 17.... don't know.... On the up side God is bigger than her....so.... whatever HE wants to be will be...
H's birthday was yesterday, I gave him a card and the gifts I bought him. He of course said exactly what I thought he would, "I appreciate the gesture, but I can't accept any gifts from you." I said well I hope you like what I got you and walked away. After I got home from having breakfast with my sister I asked if he had opened his gifts yet, he said no he didn't get a chance yet (yeah, cause sitting in front of the tv was waaay more important). Again he said I shouldn't have gotten him anything. I said, "Well I get people I care about gifts for their birthdays. I hope you enjoy them." Then I walked away.
My dad, a friend of mine and I went to get some soil for my garden. As soon as H saw my dad pull up he bolted out of that living room so fast, went to hide in the bathroom. How pathetic is that? Surprisingly when we got back he was still home, but he came flying out the door and left the minute we pulled into the driveway. I felt bad for dad, it's his first encounter with invasion of the body snatchers H.
I forgot to mention earlier in the day I was in the garage looking for my rabbit fence to keep the rabbits out of my garden, well H apparently took it upon himself to throw it away at the bulk drop off! I was good, remained calm, even though he had a smug look on his face, clearly he tries to hurt me, and that is just sad. Just because he is pretending to be great all the time doesn't mean he needs to hurt me so I can feel just as bad as he does, but whatever, he will have to answer for that someday. I told him it was no big deal, I would just buy more..... on the inside I was annoyed.
So he came home while my friend and I were constructing the garden, and we were getting ready to leave because we didn't get enough soil. H says to me in a very irritated voice, "Are you taking a house key with you this time because I'm going to be leaving soon and I don't want to have to wait around for you." I stayed cool, calm and collected and simply said, "I always have a house key with me." H said, as I'm walking to the door, "Well I saw both sets of car keys and thought you didn't have one with you, that's all I'm saying." I didn't reply I just walked out the door. Now I know he knows I have a set of house keys that are not with the car keys, been that way for years...... I feel like he's always trying to pick a fight and always trying to do things to hurt me. He does do things to hurt me but I NEVER let him see the emotional pain he is causing me, I just put on a happy face..... then fantasize smothering him with his pillow.... LOL KIDDING, I'm KIDDING!!!!
He did eventually open the gifts and card, he was probably surprised by the card, it wasn't mushy, in fact it was quite funny. There's a cartoon animal on the front and it reads Hippo Birthday, on the inside it reads, "what you didn't expect me to look at all 12 million cards in the store did you?" Then I wrote, "Happy Birthday, I hope it's a great one! Respectfully, Heather." Sooooo way different than any card I have ever given him.
Later I saw the cards he got from his family, his one brother got him a card with a bunch of bimbos on it. His mother got him a card with Yoda on it which read, "fulfill your destiny you must" the inside reads, "much to celebrate there is Happy Birthday." Have I mentioned how evil this woman is!!! Much to celebrate, really??!!??!! On the up side, some day she will reap what she sows..... at least I have to keep telling myself that!
He didn't really have a reaction last night when I told him I won't be home tonight. He just said you won't be home at all? I said no..... he just walked back into the garage and started throwing more stuff out......
My friend thinks he is totally crazy, insane really..... he is definitely having a break from reality...... when I filled my sister in at breakfast she was totally stunned.... it's always interesting to see someone in Normalville's reaction when you tell them about the Twilight Zone your life has become....
I had myself a nice crying, praying fit this morning in his room.... I like to pray in there, I feel like that space needs positive energy.... but who knows maybe I'm nuts too.... maybe crazy is contagious...... lol
Today finds me emotionally sad and frustrated..... I really can't believe no one in his family (except the father he doesn't speak to) doesn't see through his acting and see he has a real problem.... but then again, they could and just not be saying anything because that's how his family works, talk about the person's issues behind their back, but to their face tell them they are making the right decision and that everything is great! And to top it all off give them really, really, crappy advice. Oh the joys of his dysfunctional family......
Ok, I'm done venting for now..... sorry I've practically written a book....as always thanks to all who let me vent here, it really is helpful, especially since everyone here knows the kind of craziness I'm going through.... You guys are all wonderful!
